Oppenheim, Germany

Sometimes I don't even realize how cute this little country I live in is. I mean, seriously... Seriously! Can you even get over it? And then there are days like Saturday when the weather is perfect and everything is just even more adorable and wonderful. We lolled around Oppenheim on Saturday; 4 friends taking tours of tunnels, sipping wine while basking in the sun, and climbing to the top of the town to admire the view from the ruins. It was just one of those perfect Spring days.

I'm slightly panicky because I know that my time is beginning to come to an end. I only have a finite amount to fill with trips and friends and German and and and and and...

How does one fit everything into a lifetime, I wonder?

Dear Katie, the golden-birthday girl

Happy GOLDEN birthday, Katie!

You all might be unaware of this, but Katie is one of my most dear friends on this entire Earth. We’ve known of each other’s existence since we were pre-schoolers, been classmates since Kindergarten, friends since the 2nd grade, and the best of friends since the 3rd grade. I mean, I don’t wanna brag, but we’ve been friends for 20 years. How does that even happen?!

In first grade, my locker was right next to Sheila’s, and Katie was really good friends with Sheila and would always be leaning on my locker chatting away with Sheila when I got out of class because, as it seemed, Ms. Garlic’s class (Katie’s) was always let out just a wee earlier than Mrs. Nordland’s (my class). Everyday I’d be like pssssshhhhhhhhhttt… that Katie, blockin’ my locker again! But it was cool, because she’d tell us hilarious stories like when she got ice from the nurse one time and let it melt in class and through a hole in the bag squirted water across the room when Ms. Garlic was turned around. Or was it one of her trouble-maker classmates that did that? Oh the scandal! I don’t know, but boy oh boy did Katie tell funny stories!

And then, in the second grade, I was the proud owner of some pretty cool markers. I mean, the coolest. And we were both in Ms. Saegabrecht’s class (no but seriously, I have no idea how to spell Say-guh-bret). And one time when we moved desks, I had to sit next to Paul, but that also meant Katie was sitting across from me in prime marker-sharing real estate. And so it goes.

We have shared some really silly times together. Silliest of things that kids do when kids still have imaginations and can play and play and play and never tire. Silliest of things that teenagers do on Winter and Summer breaks from school (after all, I had moved by then). Silliest of things that college students do only in those few years when such rambunctious behavior seems to be socially admissible so long as one holds a University ID. And we have so far proven that we are still highly capable even as adults of making complete fun and of having purely silly moments and sharing lots of laughter in each other’s company.

Our friendship has also carried us over some of the more serious times in life. Sometimes I think about alllll the things that have happened in the last 20 years. Do other people get so lucky to have friends like Katie in life? And then I think about Rachel and Emma, too and think, holy smokes! Grand slam on friendships.

Here is what I wish for Katie in her golden birthday year, (all wishes are limitless and include the option to renew for the rest of her years, too):

• happiness
• laughter
• motivation (this I wish to her not because she doesn’t already have it but because one can never have enough!)
• lots of fun dates with goooooooooooood lookin’, considerate men
• time for family
• Olympic-level curling skills
• time for travel (and consequently safety)
• minimal amounts of new wrinkles (I’m kidding, I’m kidding… we’re still young!)
• a working telephone so that she can tell me all about all of the wonderful things going on in her life
• and most of all, I wish that Katie feels all of the love that is always coming her way from people all over the map who care about her and know that she is worth celebrating, not just today but always.

Very, very happy day to you Katie!

love always,
E

Used books and Seaweedwurst

on saturday i went to brunch in the markt with anja, micha, and ginny. and by brunch i mean fleischwurst and rindswurst and seaweedwurst (yep) and cheese samples and rosé champagne from plastic cups. we also stopped into a used bookstore-- one of my favorite things that exist on earth. this store has books from the 16 and 17 hundreds, people. uuuuuuuuuused books. it was so wonderful. can you spot all 3 of them looking at books in the first picture?

Seaweed takes a new form. Tasted like corn.

An update on my "Glamour" list

In January 2011, I ran across a little list created by Glamour magazine of ideas single gals ought to consider doing while they are free as a bird. For fun, I went through the list and commented on each item. Well, I've decided it's time to give you an update. I won't review the items I'd already accomplished, but I will revisit the items that, as of one year ago, were left unchecked. Below you'll see that I've extracted each item along with its old answer, and in a new color, I've written the status of that item as of today. The original list had 36 items on it. Ready, go!

1. Go to a movie alone. One time I went to meet friends at E Street Cinema for a movie, and I couldn't find them because there is no cell service down in their theaters, so I sat down to see "Waiting for Superman" which I had wanted to see and was almost done in theaters. But, then they found me, and I watched "Fair Game" with them, and it was fun. So, I haven't done this, but I came close and would be fine with doing this.
I have not gone to a movie alone yet. Isn't that silly? I mean, I'm a foreigner here. I have the perfect excuse to be by myself in a movie theater. What if I have no friends? What if in my home land, going to movies alone is what people do? Alas, neither is the case. I will do this one though. I will.

2. Lift weights. I swim. It's free for DC residents and my current financial situation (the rent is too damn high) does not really allow much for a gym membership. I'll stick to the chlorine routine, thank you.
Hmmm, I think I'm further from lifting weights than I was last year. It mostly comes down to the fact that I must carefully plan where my money goes, and to a monthly gym membership doesn't make the list. I do however buy passes to my local swimming pool here, though I swim wayyyy less often than I was. I also took majorly for granted how nice it was to have free access to DC's pools. 3€ for per 90 minute pass is not as awesome.

5. Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family. I will live alone when the rent is not so damn high.
I live alone! and though my friends helped me pack up my life and move it from DC, and my family had to listen to me stress out over sorting out that life and fitting it into 2 suitcases to live out of for one year, I did, actually, move across an ocean without the help of close friends and family to assist me at both point A and point B. This one-- big, fat checkmark!

6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon. USMS does a one hour swim during the month of January. I'm doing it. Half an "X" for this one...
Ok, well, I didn't do that swim, though I did train for and compete in multiple swim meets last Spring, including USMS Nationals. I am running one of those crazy 15km obstacle course "dashes" at the end of May. I'm not really "training" so much as eating cake, but I'll have to run now and again so that I don't make a fool out of myself there. I don't really know if that means I can check this one off or not.
7. Go to a scary doctor’s appointment by yourself. So far, thank God, I have not been critical enough to merit a scary doctor's appointment. But I have gone to the doctor by myself like a big girl and got a shot. That's pretty scary for me. I rocked this one.
I did this. It was scary not because I was lifethreateningly sick or anything, but because it was within my first weeks here and I had to do everything in German when I didn't know German and the doctor spoke very, very little English and I would study my German-English dictionary on my way to the appointments... and I lived. Check!

8. Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else’s livelihood). Not on your life. Have you looked at the jobless rates right now? I will strategically transfer careers when the correct opportunity presents itself.
Welp, I did this. Not because I wanted to "take my job and shove it", as this item states, but I did this because I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to move to Germany. I now also remember how tiring looking for jobs is. Check!
9. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I like to travel. Lots. I fly by myself all the time and have since I was, what, 11? Flying to Hawaii from DC is a chore, but since it's not a foreign country, I'm going to play by the rules and not X this one off.
Oh boy, check, check, check, check, check. I have now increased the number of countries I've been in from 5 to 11 and have trained/planed/walked into them. Thank you, Europe, for the unbelievable amount of countries and cultures packed into a relatively small space. Glorious.

21. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.
In July, I drove a third of the way across the country with Emma. And then I drove another third of the way by myself. And when I got to Wyoming, I put on a dress, brushed my hair, and got myself to the church in time to see good friend Michael marry his lovely Laura. And I went by myself. And had so much fun. Check!

22. Date the creeps. You’ll really value the nice guys afterward. Can I amend this to say "date the nerds, they are the nice guys"? (I think people in touch with their inner nerd are fantastic, for the record.) I will not go on a date with a guy who creeps me out. I can value a nice guy without having to feel unsafe with a creeper.
Germany provided me with a creep date. Thank you ever-so-much for an always good story, dear country. And don't worry, mom. I was never in danger of any sort. Check!
25. Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. How very "Sex and the City" of them. There are a billion things I'd rather do alone before drinking alone.
I have certainly now, being a foreigner and sometimes a lone travelor, had a drink in a public venue alone. Never right up at a bar all up in the bartender's zone, but outside at cafés with a glass of local wine or nice, German beer. I give this item a Check!

27. Finish all your schooling if you can. Learning is an ongoing life process. Bachelor's degree will suffice for now.
I have added language schooling to my résumé. Further proof that learning is an ongoing life process, and I will never check this one off because I plan to never be done.

28. Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college. I'm in the works... more on this at a later date.
Holy cow... this I have earned my checkmark for. And I'm so happy to be able to say that!
30. Learn to cook well. Not my strong suit, but I have started planning my meals for the week. I shall be the Yan Can Cook in no time.
I have learned to cook creatively, given that I moved from a gorgeous kitchen to living without and oven, toaster, BBQ, blender, mixer, set of pots and pans (one of each), or most other cooking utensils commonly found in kitchens. However, "well" is not what I would classify the outcomes of cooking a la kitchenette.

32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile. Um, first I'd need a profile. This is for people who are on the market and are concerned with being off the market.
My answer holds, though I am sure someday I'll begin to get awkwardly paired through well intended friends.

34. Babysit someone’s baby for an hour. I have babysat babies many times, but not recently. Hey Rachel, can I book a trip to Phoenix soon?? :)
Baby in reference is now closing in on the one year mark, and I have moved even more time zones away from her lovely self. I would positively adore babysitting her for an hour. Someday, someday.

35. Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up. I hope that no one has to go through a divorce, and I am here for anyone with a bad break up, but I don't wish for that to happen to anyone either.
A friend of mine whom I was very close to in high school recently had to deal with this, and it was a reminder to me that I should be a better friend, not only to her but to all of my friends. I can't necessarily say that I've help in any way, but I do strive to provide support to any friend who needs it and would like it.

So there you have it. 8 more definitively checked off.

Regardless of your relationship status, what have you done in the past year to branch out and grow? Tasted new foods? Picked up a new hobby? Seen a new place? Become a world-record speed diaper-changer? And what new, bold things can we do in the year ahead?!

Rock the Red Pump!

Rock the Red Pump!

Why?

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is March 10, 2012.

There are more than 1 million adults and adolescents in the United States living with HIV. Approximately one-fifth of them (21%) do not know that they have been infected.

In 2006, teen girls represented 39% of AIDS cases reported among 13–19 year-olds. Black teens represented 69% of cases reported among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 19%.

You can’t acquire HIV by drinking from a water fountain, sitting on a toilet seat, hugging or touching an HIV-infected person, or by eating off plates and utensils.

However,

 here are some ways HIV can be transmitted:

By way of bodily fluids (blood, semen, and vaginal secretions) during sexual contact. Saliva is not considered a transmission route for HIV.

By sharing needles to inject drugs. Infected blood can be exchanged between the parties who are using the same needle and syringe.

Through the transfusion of infected blood or blood products

HIV-infected woman can pass HIV to their babies during pregnancy, during delivery, or while breast-feeding

Be smart. Use protection. Get tested. LEARN more. 

And don't forget to rock your red heels, you beautiful lady, you!

I am rocking my red heels to work today.

Daddy

Happy birthday. I love you and miss you everyday <3

George Clooney, Crying, and Cake

It's not Mother's Day, but I feel like gushing about my mom anyway. She is simply one of the most amazing people I know. Like I suspect other moms are, my mom is always right. I mean it. When I was a kid, one afternoon she told me that if I rode my bike up to Katie's house, I was probably going to get hurt because I was too overtired, and because I was too overtired, I challenged her theory and sure enough had the biggest bike crash of my life (don't worry, the neighbor whose house I wrecked outside of came to my rescue and called my mom). Her motherly intuition from everything ranging from bike crashes to grown up stuff is spot on. It's like some sort of power only moms possess. How do they get it, I wonder?

It's fun because my mom and I get to be friends now. She doesn't have to get me to school on time or pick me up from ballet class. We don't quarrel for the sake of quarreling, and it makes my day to get to hang out with her :) But you know what, she still gets to be my mom. I still need her to teach me how to stand on my own two feet sometimes.

I saw "The Descendants" in the theater this weekend. Have you seen it? I didn't read reviews first; all I knew was that my mom liked it and that it was set in Hawaii and George Clooney was in it. Clearly I had to go. Ultimately, the subject matter in the movie delves way deeper than just GC's pretty little smile and a lovely setting. I won't pour details out here, but I highly recommend going to watch it. And it hit a little too close to home for me at the end. When I got home and laid my head down for bed, I was flooded with tears-- something that hasn't happened to me in quite a while. When I was still in the newer years of mourning my dad, anything could trigger me. But as my grief has matured, that doesn't really happen anymore. I had forgotten what it felt like to be so sad in a single moment that when I close my eyes and the tears are coming down, I feel as small as a speck of dust. Anything could be happening in the world, and at that moment, my heart has sunk so far inside of me that I am only aware of the pull of my chest caving in and nothing else.

My mom was the recipient of a phone call with a melting little girl on the other end of it. She had plans to get ready for that night (time difference is big, after all), but she gave me as much time as I needed to talk about my dad. To recall any memories of the following months I have and to tell her the only things I remember from the day we spread his ashes in Hawaii. She recalled things for me that I have no recollection of. We chatted, we laughed, and without meaning to, I think we both healed even a little bit more. She is an angel and like I said before, simply amazing.

Also, totally separate note, but today was Kaffee und Kuchen Sunday. Even though everything else is closed on Sundays around here, a girl can always go to a café for a slice of cake. Always.

Thanks, Café Zucker.

Living the life

I walked home in a cloud tonight. Mainz is so foggy in the mornings and evenings nowadays as the weather is starting to warm up to Spring temperatures. I could only see as far as about a block in the fog tonight. Everything looks so different cloaked in the eerie clouds.

My working life in Germany has me seeing things through a whole new perspective. I really take for granted the education that I have, the ease with which I can function in my own society, and my belief I hold in myself and my abilities. I tell you what, it is not easy to make a serious, professional impression with limited language skills and different cultural approaches. I understand 50% of what is said to me in any given sentence or string thereof. I can process another 20% of the meaning from eye contact, context clues, and body language. That leaves me, in any given moment of my work day, and really of my German life, not knowing- I mean truly NOT understanding any part of- the remaining 30%. I can sit in a meeting and know what everyone is talking about and why the issue is important but have no idea whether or not they've come to conclusions, reached solutions, identified other factors, or are mostly just blowing off steam about it. Um, hello, that information is probably essential to my professional success here. 30% is a lot to be missing.

I also keep realizing that sometimes I just don't read signs when I'm out in public because I simply don't know what they say. Isn't that weird? It's like being a child in some ways. I am learning to read comprehensively, I ask people to explain the meaning of words I've never heard, and I definitely need more than 30% improvement on writing grammatically correctly in German. I wanted to use the German equivalent of "embarking on an adventure in Germany" in a sentence the other day, and I chose a verb that I guess technically would translate to embark, but it's meaning implies the kind of grand adventure like the Pilgrims embarked upon... somewhat grander of a scale than I was aiming for. I was mostly referring to my adventures in bagging up my groceries...

I miss walking into my office and owning what I do and feeling absolutely confident in my ability to handle any situation that comes my way. I miss not being scared of getting a phone call. I miss being able to make small talk easily and having deeper conversations to get to know people. I miss knowing the grammar rules, even if sometimes I don't follow them. I'd like once again to have my full wardrobe of clothes at my disposal, too, just for posterity. 2 suitcases (one big, one normal) worth of clothes gets a tiny bit dull. I miss knowing the appropriate level of professional + friendly + direct + helpful = successful in the workplace.

But I have a hunch, and this is really just a hunch, that when I have wrapped up my job here, I will find that I have become more professional than I was than before I left for Germany. I think I'll find that the barriers I'm stumbling into now are actually not barriers at all but gateways. But that's life though, isn't it? The tough stuff makes us better if we want it to. And of course, the fact that I'm in Germany and working with really excellent people in a great town for a stellar company means that these so-called barriers are actually just signs of the fact that I am living the life.

I am really living the life.