George Clooney, Crying, and Cake

It's not Mother's Day, but I feel like gushing about my mom anyway. She is simply one of the most amazing people I know. Like I suspect other moms are, my mom is always right. I mean it. When I was a kid, one afternoon she told me that if I rode my bike up to Katie's house, I was probably going to get hurt because I was too overtired, and because I was too overtired, I challenged her theory and sure enough had the biggest bike crash of my life (don't worry, the neighbor whose house I wrecked outside of came to my rescue and called my mom). Her motherly intuition from everything ranging from bike crashes to grown up stuff is spot on. It's like some sort of power only moms possess. How do they get it, I wonder?

It's fun because my mom and I get to be friends now. She doesn't have to get me to school on time or pick me up from ballet class. We don't quarrel for the sake of quarreling, and it makes my day to get to hang out with her :) But you know what, she still gets to be my mom. I still need her to teach me how to stand on my own two feet sometimes.

I saw "The Descendants" in the theater this weekend. Have you seen it? I didn't read reviews first; all I knew was that my mom liked it and that it was set in Hawaii and George Clooney was in it. Clearly I had to go. Ultimately, the subject matter in the movie delves way deeper than just GC's pretty little smile and a lovely setting. I won't pour details out here, but I highly recommend going to watch it. And it hit a little too close to home for me at the end. When I got home and laid my head down for bed, I was flooded with tears-- something that hasn't happened to me in quite a while. When I was still in the newer years of mourning my dad, anything could trigger me. But as my grief has matured, that doesn't really happen anymore. I had forgotten what it felt like to be so sad in a single moment that when I close my eyes and the tears are coming down, I feel as small as a speck of dust. Anything could be happening in the world, and at that moment, my heart has sunk so far inside of me that I am only aware of the pull of my chest caving in and nothing else.

My mom was the recipient of a phone call with a melting little girl on the other end of it. She had plans to get ready for that night (time difference is big, after all), but she gave me as much time as I needed to talk about my dad. To recall any memories of the following months I have and to tell her the only things I remember from the day we spread his ashes in Hawaii. She recalled things for me that I have no recollection of. We chatted, we laughed, and without meaning to, I think we both healed even a little bit more. She is an angel and like I said before, simply amazing.

Also, totally separate note, but today was Kaffee und Kuchen Sunday. Even though everything else is closed on Sundays around here, a girl can always go to a café for a slice of cake. Always.

Thanks, Café Zucker.