The "I want" post (if the sun revolved around me)

I'm struggling with finding enough time for myself these days. In the hustle and bustle of life in the nation's capital, I find that I become quickly and all-too-easily stretched too thin. I've written before about how I want it all. I want to excel in the workplace and pour my time and energy into learning as much as I can during and outside of work hours. There is only so much time one can spend listening to and analyzing the news. I want to have a family. There. I said it. The idea of being one part of a whole with somebody, being so strong together that we can conquer the world. I want someone who believes in me so deeply that to him, I have no limits. And I want to reciprocate that belief in him. I get to hang out with a little 9-month old baby at softball on Thursdays, and it's giving me the itch. What's it like to shift around life things to accommodate the arrival of a cute little pants-pooper? But I also want to be by myself. I want to be free to have a crazy schedule and not try to work it around someone else's. I want to go for a swim at 7pm, not get home until 930pm, eat dinner at 10pm, shower at 10:45pm, and curl up into bed by midnight and not think anything of it except pleased for not having spent the night in front of the TV. I want to have a 2-hour long phone call with my mom followed immediately thereafter by a 1-hour long phone call with my best friend and not have anyone else's day halted because of it. I want to spend half of a Saturday in a coffee shop with a book, a journal, a pen, some note cards and stamps, and time to contemplate life. I still want to prove to myself that I am capable of making a ton of money and supporting my life goals and my family. But I want more to just do something that feels right. I want to keep working on enjoying the little pieces of life's beauty that are all around me all the time. I want to make wishes on dandelions and eyelashes. I want to stop to watch the sun set and to smell the roses. I want to volunteer my time because I can't volunteer my money. I want to help people. I want to love people. I want to be loved by people.

The funny thing about life is that we can't have it all. So where do I compromise? Looks like I need to take myself out to coffee on a Saturday morning to contemplate this...

love always,
E